


How to Fail an Identity Reveal

by defenestratable



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Cat Puns, F/M, Identity Reveal, Marinette screams a lot, Reverse Crush AU, Somewhat unrealistic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-06
Updated: 2017-09-13
Packaged: 2018-10-15 07:45:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10552666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/defenestratable/pseuds/defenestratable
Summary: Adrien stumbled forward, landing in a heap on the floor and blocking Marinette’s path to her desk.“Ack,” he spluttered.Marinette stared down at him. “Uh, hi?”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welp, it's another fanfic. Just to clarify, in this reverse crush AU, Marinette and Adrien still have the same personalities, and they're still just as oblivious :)
> 
> And in fair Paris, where we lay our scene, Nino is being a questionable wingman...
> 
>  
> 
> **Edit 5/6/2017: Made some minor wording changes!**

Adrien set his eyes with determination. “I’m gonna do it.”

“You’re gonna do it.”

“I can do this!”

“Go, dude!” Nino clapped his friend on the back.

Adrien stood confidently in the literature classroom, his eyes locked on the doorframe. Soft footsteps echoed down the hallway — footsteps that he recognized immediately.

_ It’s Marinette. Here she comes— _

Adrien felt something twist in his stomach, and he suddenly stiffened. “Nino, no no no, mission abort!” Adrien leaped into his desk and started frantically scribbling away at homework: something, anything to keep himself busy.

Exasperated, Nino took out his headphones and pushed Adrien to his feet. “Bro, you’re gonna tell her how you feel. As your certified wingman — well, you’ll thank me later.”

And as Marinette entered the room, Nino gave his friend a push. Adrien stumbled forward, landing in a heap on the floor and blocking Marinette’s path to her desk.

“Ack,” Adrien spluttered.

Marinette stared down at him with a hesitant expression. “Uh, hi?”

Adrien, who had turned bright red, quickly scrambled to his feet. “Sorry! I just my balance. I mean, I lost  _ the _ balance. I mean  _ my _ balance. I mean—” Adrien’s eyes locked with Marinette’s — they were a glowing sky blue — and he realized that he’d never been this close to her before. Tiny freckles dotted her cheeks, and she was looking up at him so intently, her eyes wide with amusement and concern. A cuteness overload, in his opinion.

Well. Adrien had completely lost his train of thought.

Worried, he glanced to Nino —  _ tell me what to do, bro! _ Unfortunately, his best buddy only sent him a finger gun and continued scrolling through his phone.  _ Traitor _ .

As the silence continued, Adrien looked around at everything but Marinette, then cleared his throat. Words failed him.  _ Come on, Adrien. You’re acting like an idiot. Think… think… be suave. Be Chat Noir. _

“Er.”  _ Swallow.  _ Adrien continued with newfound confidence. “H–how are you feline? Cause you’re purrfect, I’m not kitten.”

Marinette stared back, her concern morphing to confusion.

_ Wait, what did I just say? Take back the cat puns, take back the cat puns! _

“Uhh, I meant to say paw-don me for blocking your way. No,  _ purr-don _ me. Wait,  _ pardon _ . Gah!” Adrien desperately clawed at his hair. “Just kill me now.” Adrien buried his face in his hands, waiting for Marinette to laugh in her usual, light hearted way and move on.

To his surprise, though, there was only silence. One moment passed, then two, then three.

Adrien finally snuck a glance at Marinette. Her lips were parted, and her eyes quickly darted around his face. Soon, she took on a look of horror. “CH–CH–CHAT NOIR?” she screamed, pointing a finger at his face.

All the blood drained from Adrien’s face. How had she figured it out? “Wait no, this isn’t what it looks like! I’m not—”

“CHAT NOIR — YOU — CHAT — ADRIEN — YOU?” Marinette exclaimed.

Adrien was downright confused. “I–I’m not Chat Noir!”

Marinette took a deep, shuddering breath. “You’re Chat Noir.”

“Nope, just Adrien!”

“You’re  _ Chat Noir _ ,” she stated. “Blonde, green eyes… the fencing… the puns… how did I not see it?” Marinette suddenly flushed. “Y–You’re CHAT NOIR — HUGE CRUSH — DARK CUPID — KISS — YOU — MODEL!”

“WHAT?!”

Marinette had stopped talking, though. She took short, shallow breaths: in and out, in and out. She then swung her backpack off, javelin-threw it across the room, and sprinted down the hallway with a good-natured scream.

Back in the classroom, Adrien and Nino were dead silent, waiting as Marinette’s hyperventilating breaths retreated into the distance.

Then, Adrien cast a nervous glance toward Nino. “Uh, so Marinette mentioned a crush.” He smiled. “Do you think maybe—”

Nino cut him off and narrowed his eyes. “Cat puns? Dude, you totally  _ are _ Chat Noir.”

“No, totally  _ not _ … ”

“I can’t believe you had a secret identity this whole time. That’s so rad, bro!”

Adrien relented. “Er, I don’t know what to say.”

Nino grinned. “Hey, I’m not mad or anything… Okay, I’m a  _ little _ worried for Mari right now. But dude, you’ve got a  _ lot _ of explaining to do.”

 

* * *

 

Chat Noir sat on a Parisian rooftop, nervously swiping through the apps on his baton screen. Ladybug was supposed to show up for their twilight patrol five minutes ago, but she was running late. He almost considered watching some anime (a rerun of Naruto would calm his nerves for sure) but he heard Ladybug calling out his name.

“Chat Noir?” her voice was quiet — unsure, even, and definitely out of character — as she took a seat next to him. “I need to talk to you.”

“Same.” Chat sighed, collapsing his baton. “I have bad news, so you should probably hear it first.”

For a moment, Ladybug looked like she wanted to protest. (And was her face always that red under the mask?) But then she nodded.

“Two friends of mine found out my identity. They’re trustworthy, but I just… “ Chat cringed. “Our kwamis don’t want us to tell anyone, and I broke that rule.”

“ _ Two _ friends?” Ladybug echoed. She groaned. “That second one might be  _ my _ fault… ”

“Huh? No, It was an accident — totally my fault, actually." Chat looked uncomfortable. "I… my best friend made this stupid plan for me to ask out my crush, and I fell on the floor and made some cat puns… it was bad. Like  _ really _ bad.”

But when Chat turned to Ladybug, her face was frozen in a half-cringe, half-smile. And yep, she was definitely redder than usual.

“Crush?! You like  _ Marinette?!”  _ she screamed.

“M–Marinette? Did I say her name?” Chat facepalmed. “Ack, I’m a failure at this whole secret identity thing. I meant  _ Marie _ . Marie, not Marinette. Totally. Marie's a common name.”

Ladybug took a deep, shuddering breath and promptly whisper-yelled: “CHAT — LIKES — MARINETTE — THE — WHAT — FLIRT — AND — THREE KIDS — HOW?!”

Chat buried his face in his hands. “You know, that’s exactly how Marinette reacted too.”

“Chat Noir!” Ladybug nearly screamed, her voice echoing through the adjacent streets.

She grabbed Chat by the shoulders and stared straight at his face. Ladybug opened and closed her mouth a few times, clearly determined to say  _ something _ . But before Chat could ask what it was, she backed away, latched her yoyo to a cell phone tower, and zipped away, screaming.

“Hey!” Chat Noir called after her. “What about patrol?”

There was no answer; Ladybug was far gone and probably still gasping and heaving.

A minute or two later, Chat Noir took out his baton and hit himself on the forehead a few times. Maybe so Plagg could feel his pain. Maybe because a facepalm just didn’t seem like enough.

Idiot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There might be one or two more chapters, so stay tuned~
> 
> Feel free to leave comments or criticisms, and thanks for getting to the end! :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is additional screaming >:)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it's been a whole month since the last update :P Anyway, thanks for all the comments, remember that this is reverse crush AU, and here comes the second chapter!

“CHAT NOIR — ADRI — CHAT — CRUSH — ME — MARINETTE — _ME!”_

The passers-by stared strangely at Marinette, who was sitting on a park bench, her mouth open in a silent shriek.

Tikki sighed. “Marinette—”

But Marinette was gazing into the distance with a mixture of giddiness and shock. “Chat _likes_ me,” she insisted.

It was too much to process. For some inconceivable reason, Adrien — sweet, kind Adrien who was also sweet, kind, brave, intelligent, _perfect_ Chat Noir — liked _her_

Come to think of it, Adrien _had_ been blushing furiously during the Ultimate Mecha Strike competition. And both of them had stuttered grievously through all of Evillustrator.

In fact, she’d almost _kissed_ Chat Noir for their class movie. And no, she’d _actually_ kissed him during Dark Cupid! No wonder that the spell had broken; he liked her back!

And he’d been trying to ask her out this morning.

Nope. Marinette.exe had stopped working.

 _Breathe. Breathe,_ Marinette urged herself. _Fact: Chat Noir tried to ask you out today. Okay. Fact: His face is all over your room. Okay. Everything's normal—_

“H–Hey, Marinette?”

Marinette immediately snapped up. She tensed and turned around, and there he was: Chat Noir, standing in the middle of the park with a tentative expression.

“Um, are you okay?” he spoke quietly. “I mean, you found out — well, who I am, and you screamed, so I just—” Chat cleared his throat. “Are you okay, Mari?”

Marinette froze. (The apologetic smile, the spring green eyes: this was definitely Adrien.)

Then, she realized that he'd been expecting a response.

“Yeah! Uh huh. I’m fine.” Marinette laughed nervously, hoping to cover her mistake. “I guess I just wasn’t expecting for you to be… him… ”

“It’s okay.”

“And sorry for, you know, running away.”

“No, it’s fine.”

Marinette locked eyes with Chat Noir as a soft summer breeze swept through the park. He approached the bench and took a seat next to Marinette, whose heartbeat immediately doubled.

They were quiet for a moment or two.

“Well, ah, why are you here?” Marinette broke the silence. “Shouldn’t you be on patrol?”

(Ladybug had deserted Chat Noir half an hour ago, so if he hadn’t already detransformed, he must’ve been keeping a vigil on Paris.)

“Patrol’s cancelled.” Chat sighed. He hesitantly placed a hand on Marinette's shoulder. “And… there’s something you should know, Mari. Ladybug and I are supposed to keep our identities secret, so you can’t tell _anyone_ who I am. Not even Ladybug. _Especially_ not Ladybug… ”

Marinette frowned. “Ladybug already knows,” she muttered.

“Huh?” Chat asked. (Ack, he’d actually heard her.) “You… you already told Ladybug who I am? You already talked to Ladybug?”

"Pfft _…_ ” Marinette denied.

Chat's face contorted with worry. “ _Did_ you?”

“No!” Marinette shouted. “Well, not exactly. I… I… ”

“You what?” he pressed.

Marinette squeezed her eyes shut, and said in a whisper-shout: “I _am_ Ladybug!”

Deafening silence passed between the two of them.

When Marinette opened her eyes, Chat’s face was dusted with pink. He was gawking at her earrings, then her face, then down at her purse, where Tikki peered up at him with a sweet smile.

Chat Noir blinked rapidly.

“You… ” he gestured to Marinette. “You! Ladybug! YOU — BLUE EYES — CUTE — DESIGNER — _LADYBUG!”_

Marinette flushed.

“Oh, okay,” Chat said calmly. “You’re Ladybug. I’m Adrien.”

She nodded slowly. This was going well.

Except then Chat Noir’s eyes bulged in realization, and he pointed a shaking finger at her face, and he completely and utterly _paled_.

“AHHHH! YOU — LADYBUG — I TOLD _YOU_ — THE CRUSH?”

Marinette nodded again, looking away. By this point, she was red enough to rival Ladybug's suit.

"Adrien… " she started.

But Chat Noir was standing up and retreating from Marinette, his silver shoes grating against the concrete sidewalk. “No, no, _no, no_ —”

“Wait, Adrien, it's okay!"

“This _never_ happened. Nope, no, I didn’t tell you—”

Chat Noir, who was clearly avoiding looking at Marinette, promptly retreated into a steel garbage can. The lid clinked, clanked, and fell onto the sidewalk.

Chat cursed loudly, and when he looked up, Marinette held his gaze. “Adr—” she implored.

“No, no, ahhhh!” Chat Noir looked even paler than before, and now he wheezed with shallow, scratchy breaths. In and out, inhale, exhale —  and then the superhero flipped around, grabbed his baton, and vaulted away, yelling into the Parisian streets.

Back in the park, Marinette was standing in the middle of the sidewalk, hand stretched out in a confused goodbye.

“So… I’ll see you tomorrow?” she said weakly.

Tikki squeezed out from Marinette’s purse. “That... didn’t go too well,” she remarked quietly.

Marinette sighed. “No, it really didn't."

 

* * *

 

Ten minutes later found Adrien pacing in his room, scratching furiously at his hair. "Ladybug. Marinette is Ladybug," he repeated. "I _told_ her I had a crush on her. This is a disaster!"

"Chill, kid," Plagg said boredly.

"I can't chill!" Adrien waved his arms around wildly. "I totally weirded her out! Did you _see_ how fast Ladybug ran away? I just _had_ to go and say I liked Marinette." Adrien slumped into his armchair and turned his face to the ceiling.

Plagg made a face. "Look, kid, she's probably just a Chat Noir fangirl or something."

"A Chat Noir fangirl," Adrien echoed.

He pictured Marinette designing Chat-themed clothes, pinning photographs to her walls, reading his interviews, tying her hair with two green ribbons… the notion was completely ridiculous.

"Anyway," Plagg continued, digging his fangs into a wedge of camembert, "she definitely doesn't think you're weird."

Adrien shook his head. "Really? But I ran into a _trash can_ — Plagg! Plagg, stop laughing! It's not funny!"

The kwami brushed a tear from his eye. "That's _hilarious_."

"Gaaah," Adrien said, hitting himself in the face with a folder.

Now seemingly concerned, Plagg distanced himself from the camembert. "Adrien, you're overthinking this," he said. "You know Marinette; you know Ladybug. If anything, _she_ probably thinks _you_ think she's weird."

"What?"

"You two just need to have a good heart-to-heart talk," Plagg said flippantly. "Sort things out over some high-quality cheese… "

" _Plagg_ —"

"Camembert, or maybe brie… "

But a realization was forming in Adrien's mind. "You know, Plagg, that's actually a good point."

Plagg blinked. "The brie?"

"No, the talking," Adrien said.

After all, why should he be worrying so much about Marinette when he could just talk to her? And Plagg did have a point: they'd learned each other's identities today, so maybe Marinette was having as much of an identity crisis as he was (pun intended).

"Can we still buy the brie though?" Plagg interjected.

Adrien rolled his eyes, and without answering, snatched his phone from the table. One deep breath; then—

 

* * *

 

 **to Mari**  
(8:21 pm)  
Hey Marinette, I'm really sorry about leaving earlier..  
Can we meet in the courtyard before school starts?

_[Mari is typing… ]_

_[Mari is typing… ]_

_[Mari is typing… ]_

**from Mari**  
(8:24 pm)  
See you tomorrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, chapter 2 is done! It'll be a few weeks until I can write the final chapter so I hope this suffices for now XD
> 
> I'd like to thank [apologeticgreenpepper](http://apologeticgreenpepper.tumblr.com), [felinedragonslayer](http://felinedragonslayer.tumblr.com), and [momusuu](http://momusuu.tumblr.com) for betaing this chapter (and the previous one) and [miraculousbeta](http://miraculousbeta.tumblr.com) for matching us up. Your insight was really helpful! ^^
> 
> **Next up: fluff and Adrienette >:)**
> 
> Feel free to leave comments and constructive criticism!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A second umbrella scene :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I _might_ have been holding this chapter hostage for a month XD It just didn't feel right in the draft (still doesn't, really) but I hope you enjoy it anyway :)
> 
> Also, remember that this is reverse crush AU ^^

The next morning, Adrien woke to the pitter-patter of rain outside. His lock screen informed him that it was 6 in the morning — far too early to meet Marinette at school — but he couldn't fall back asleep.

Ten minutes later, Adrien was promptly clutching an ebony umbrella and sneaking out his mansion's back doors. Bits of pink sunrise peeked over the horizon as he strolled toward Collège François-Dupont.

The entire scene was a bit surreal, he thought. The drizzling rain, the brightening sky… they reminded him of a different day. Of Marinette's gentle laugh, an umbrella closing on her tiny frame, his _coup de foudre_ as thunder had rumbled in the distance.

 _Ugh, Agreste._ Adrien banged his head against the umbrella's stem as he climbed the school steps. _It's not even daytime and you already sound like a lovesick idiot. Not to mention you're here a whole hour early! You'll have to mope here for who-knows-how-long until Marinette gets here._

But once the courtyard came into view, there she was, standing lonesome in the rain. Marinette was turned away from him, looking up at the library. Her hair hung in loose waves, and she stood shyly but confidently, lifting a single palm to the rain.

She looked so peaceful, not to mention beautiful.

Adrien couldn't keep from smiling as he approached. "Hey."

Marinette turned slowly, droplets of rain settled in her bangs. "Hey," she echoed, smiling.

Adrien's heart skipped a bit before his gaze settled on a floating red blob — a _kwami_ — in the corner of his vision. Here it was: real, undeniable proof that his partner had been Marinette all along.

The kwami floated to him joyfully. "Nice to meet you, Adrien! I'm Tikki, Ladybug's kwami, but you already know that." She smiled cheerfully.

He couldn't believe that Marinette had such an _adorable_ kwami. She seemed much sweeter than Plagg, and he was ready to declare this very observation when Plagg phased out from his bag.

"Tikki. Long time no see, eh?" he remarked.

 _"Plagg!"_ Tikki cried, racing forward to crush the other kwami in an embrace. Oddly, Plagg hummed and relaxed into the hug.

At that moment, Marinette giggled quietly, and as Adrien turned to her, he remembered why there were here in the first place. (i.e. him and his stupid cat puns, but also to _talk_.)

Adrien and Marinette became locked in a stare.

Five seconds later, they began in sync: "So, I'm sorry—"

Adrien immediately snapped his mouth shut. "No, you first!"

"No, go ahead," Marinette insisted.

"No, you."

"Just start first!”

He nodded slightly, averting his eyes from Marinette's in favor of watching the spring rain. "Sorry for running off yesterday," he began faintly. "I know I didn't make the most _pawsome_ exit—"

Marinette snickered. "No kidding," she teased. She sounded so much like Ladybug, yet so obviously Marinette.

Adrien turned to face her, immediately encouraged. "—but you have to admit, the situation was pretty mortifying! I mean, that stupid confession… anyway, I'm sor—"

Marinette's smile fell, and he stopped abruptly. "Stupid?" she echoed softly. "So you _don't_ like me?"

 _"_ I, uh, w–well." _Oh, great._ Adrien had flushed red to the tips of his ears. "I _do_ , but that's just not how… and I'm guessing you don't… ack." He was a complete _failure_. "Where's Nino when you need him?" Adrien muttered.

Marinette's worry had given way to a smile, though. "I don't what?" she asked. "I don't like you?"

"Well, yeah," he mumbled. But then again, maybe... "Unless—"

Breaking her gaze from his, Marinette continued in a near-stammer. "Um, A–Adrien, have you ever seen my wallpaper?"

 _What?_ Adrien blanched. _There’s no way I heard that question right._ "Uh, no?" he replied. "What does that have to do with this?"

Marinette reached into her coat, and Adrien immediately found himself face-to-face with Marinette's phone. His eyes widened: it was him. Her entire phone wallpaper was Chat Noir — a conglomeration of candid Ladyblog shots and magazine covers, cropped and cut and layered, then dotted with pink and green hearts.

"I've liked you for a while," Marinette admitted, still averting her eyes. "Your face is all over my room, actually."

Adrien lurched back, stuttering: "Are — Are you _serious?"_

"Yeah."

Adrien blinked.

He must’ve actually been dreaming right now.

Finally, after seconds of silence and internal screaming, Adrien opened his mouth and let out a slow, shaky breath. "Okay, okay, okay," he repeated. "I _really_ wanna yell right now, but I think we've learned that's a bad idea."

Then, he couldn’t help himself: he grinned, an ear-splitting one, practically bursting with joy.

Marinette returned the gesture nervously, her face burning scarlet. "I've, um, liked you since Stoneheart, actually," she admitted. "When you believed in me."

Oh, _that_ moment, when Ladybug had forgotten to purify the akuma and the Parisian citizens had rounded against them. He remembered trying to cheer her up. Her confidence had come back stronger than ever, and she'd brazenly led them to their first real victory.

Adrien only grinned wider. "I've… I've liked you since the first day of school when I gave you my umbrella. Right here."

"I might've liked you a _little_ after that," Marinette muttered.

 _"Yes!"_ Adrien laughed triumphantly.

They fell into a silence again, although this time, it was calming instead of nervous. Adrien dragged his gaze around the courtyard where rain was pouring in light sheets, painting a _pitter patter pitter patter_ that rang like a low hum.

Then, he looked to Marinette. And in that moment, as she twirled her black umbrella against the bleary, rain-washed landscape and fixed him with a nervous smile, he was entirely unsurprised that he'd fallen for her on day one.

He liked her. And by some miraculous miracle, she liked him.

It was now or never.

"Um, so, I was trying to do this yesterday before you ran out screaming—" he started.

"Please don't bring that up again."

Adrien laughed. "Right. Anyway, Marinette." He gathered all his Chat Noir charm, then took a deep breath and smirked. "Would you _paw-lease_ go to the _mew-vies_ with me _be-claws_ I really like you?"

Marinette's eyes widened. "I — _wow_ , that was awful."

"You mean _clawful_."

"No, I don't," Marinette frowned, but he could tell she was trying hard not to laugh. "Gosh, I can't believe you blew your secret identity with _cat puns_ , Adrien."

But Adrien was now staring at her expectantly. "So, um, is that a yes or a no?"

"You idiot," Marinette said, jabbing him in the arm. "Of _course_ it's a yes."

"YES!" Adrien was ecstatic. "I — DATE — YES!"

" _Yes_." Marinette repeated.

"Well… hey," he began slowly. "Since school doesn't start for a while, we probably have enough time to go to a café?"

"Let's go!"

Without another beat, Marinette beamed at him, looking absolutely radiant. She latched her hand into his, and they dove — arms linked — into the swirling rain.

 

* * *

 

 **Epilogue**  

 **Alya Césaire (@ladyblogger) 4h**  
[photo]  
give it up for adrienette! happy 2nd date, ayyyyy proud of u mari  <3 <3 <3

 **Alya Césaire (@ladyblogger) 1m**  
ladynoir is... canon?

 **Alya Césaire (@ladyblogger) 1m**  
OMG ITS CANON

 **Alya Césaire (@ladyblogger) 29s**  
[video]  
HE PLANNED FOR A FISTBUMP AND SHE WENT FOR A KISS INSTEAD I CANT ASDFGHJKL

 **Alya Césaire (@ladyblogger) 8s**  
IM SCREAMING AHHHHHHHHHHHHHWERCISDFUOIWEUHSDKFKSDFOIUSDFOUICSDFWEUASDFOIJSOIDFJIUYIUEFSUDFNNDSF

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks to [felinedragonslayer](felinedragonslayer.tumblr.com) and [momusuu](momusuu.tumblr.com) for their insights! <3
> 
> Ayyyyy, I finished a multi-chapter! (Pffffffffffffft, three chapters is more than one, so you can kind of call it a multi-chapter.) This was a lot of fun to write!
> 
> If you have the time, pleeeease leave a comment and let me know how it was!~


End file.
